March 13 Newsletter
Hello beautiful human,
How’s the human being thing going?
I don’t know about you, but I am ready for spring.
Curiously enough, my body seems to have shifted into daylight savings time on its own – I’m heading to bed and waking an hour earlier over the last couple of days.
If you know me at all, you’ll know how UNUSUAL that is. It’s not exaggeration to say I hate DST, especially at its end when I usually feel a real dissonance in my body that screams “the time is wrong! Put it back where it’s supposed to be and leave it there please.” Actually, no please. Just do it.
So this year, as we approach the change to DST, this change in my body is curious. What’s going on here? Stay tuned to find out what happens in November.
That was a really long introduction to let you know that changes are afoot, and I’m not just talking about the clocks moving forward an hour Sunday morning.
I’m unapologetic about changing the name of this newsletter to “Self-Centred”
While I will always identify as an anti-capitalist crone, I want to shift this space to explore together: What does it mean to be and become self-centred?
It’s a term that definitely holds negative connotations, right?
But what exactly is wrong with being self-centred?
I’m not talking about being the centre of the universe – that’s a developmental phase that we grow out of in infancy if all goes well.
The way I see it (and I’m not alone – thanks to Kelly Diels for the conversation that inspired this process) we’re supposed to be the centres of our own goddamn lives.
Even if the world tells us that’s wrong.
Even if systems of fuckery do their damndest to separate us from our selves so they can steam along unchallenged.
We are conditioned to believe messages that tell us we’re too much. At the same time as being told we’re not enough. Too smart, too fat, too thin, too white, too brown, too loud, too quiet, too femme, too butch, too much.
We believe we’re broken when in fact it’s the world that’s broken, not us.
The messages are so consistent and persistent that we internalize them and don’t even remember when or how we left our selves behind.
We begin to tell ourselves we’re too much and not enough, and we’re really really good at it. The systems of fuckery have successfully offloaded the labour of keeping us weak and distracted. Evil genius really.
What happens when we’re not self-centred?
Everyone and anyone else with a louder voice gets to call the shots.
We buy into the messages of capitalism and colonialism that treat life – plant, animal and human – as commodity. We place value on what we do rather than who we are. We become cogs in the machine.
We can only see binaries in a decidely non-binary world. Black/white; right/wrong; with me or against me.
We acknowledge everyone else’s needs before tending to our own. Except on the rare occasion that the oxygen mask drops from the cabin ceiling, putting your own needs first is simply unacceptable.
Even if we smile and nod at hearing “you can’t give from an empty cup” do we really live that way?
It’s often just another way for the hustle and bustle world to shame us into submission. “What’s wrong with you that you’re cup is empty? Pull up your bootstraps and get ‘er done already. Look at me, I’ve done it. Enter your credit card information here, and you’ll fee so much better.”
For five minutes before the buyer’s remorse sets in. And then it just becomes another example of the ways in which we’re broken.
We’re running on empty and can’t figure out why we’re depressed, stressed, exhausted, and feeling hopeless.
We fall under the spell of perfectionism that throws us into freeze when anything we attempt is not perfect.
We think we have to do it all on our own and that asking for help is weakness.
We collapse. And the systems of fuckery have won.
Well fuck that.
I’m reclaiming “Self-Centred”
And I’d love you to join me.
I believe our bodies remember that true authentic voice that says “You matter. You are loved. You are valuable and the world needs you. Just as you are.”
And I want to spread the word.
Send a reply: I’d love to know your thoughts on being and becoming self-centred.
Othersise there’s nothing for you to do, except look for the next newsletter. It’ll have a new name.
If you decide this new direction isn’t for you, know that I honour and appreciate you.
Big love is coming your way,