Lately, I have felt the deep pull to connect with my lineage, to learn more about ancestral healing of intergenerational trauma.
There is evidence that memories and experiences are passed on through generations in our DNA. The study referenced here speaks to it.
I feel grief and deep regret at not having asked for more stories, more family history, more insight while my parents and grandparents were here with me.
What were their experiences, their struggles, their victories, their spirit wounds, their trauma? What stories and experiences from their parents and grandparents shaped them?
As I fell asleep last night, I asked for some insight, how to connect, how to feel the presence of my lineage, and wondering what my ancestors might tell me.
A song came to me at about 3 a.m., a haunting melody, familiar and beautiful. I woke, distressed and inconsolable, because I could not remember the words of the song.
I soothed myself back to sleep with trauma-informed somatic practices I’ve been learning, and later in the day after waking, I looked up the lyrics of the song that haunted my dreams:
“When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, I could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love, to make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear, and there is no one there to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love.
I know you haven’t made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong. I’ve known it from the moment that we met. No doubt in my mind where you belong.
I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue. I’d go crawling down the avenue. No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do, to make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on the rolling sea, and on the highway of regret. Though winds of change are throwing wild and free, you ain’t seen nothing like me yet.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true. Nothing that I wouldn’t do, go to the ends of the Earth for you, to make you feel my love.
To make you feel my love”
It’s a song from Bob Dylan. You can listen to it here.
My ancestors spoke to me. They answered my request for connection by singing to me in my sleep.
And if you know anything about my lineage, that will come as no surprise.
There’s always a song in my head. From here on in I will pay more attention to who’s put it there. And why.